Taking Off the Uniform: 6 Transition Steps Athletes Can Learn from Military Veterans
By Kelly Mix
Transitions in life are hard, especially when you step away from a culture that molded your identity throughout your most transformative years. From age 18 to 29, I woke up, put on my uniform, and went to “work.”
While part of this time was as a Division 1 swimmer at a military university, I devoted the majority of these years to the United States Marine Corps. The military culture provided structure, ideals, and amazing humans who wanted to serve the greater good. When I decided to step away from a military career, I was surprised by the toll of transition when I wasn’t clear on ‘what is next.’
As I reflected, I realized that many of the feelings, emotions, and thoughts I experienced throughout my military transition were also prevalent when I finished my collegiate swimming career. I was able to call upon my transition from swimming to help myself navigate the second time I took off my uniform. Here are the six steps I utilized during my transition, both from military and from sports, that athletes can put into practice to gain greater awareness in pursuit of their purpose and defining their life after sport.
1. LEAVING A PROFESSION
A career in the military is more than just a job, it is a profession. It is a culture steeped in pride and tradition, as well as physical, mental, and emotional competencies. The same is certainly true for any elite athlete. Although not training to fight in times of chaos on the battlefield, elite athletes are training to put their bodies on the line, make quick decisions, and lead one another. The amount of time, energy, and emotional sacrifice to these professions defines us for many years.
That identity can be hard to let go, especially when it has been such an integral part of us. We can come back to equilibrium only when we recognize that we aren’t losing an identity – we are leaving a profession. In that way, we can take what we want, and leave what we don’t.
Start by answering these questions to figure out what to take with you and what to leave behind.
What did I like about __________?
What did I dislike about ____________?
Ultimately, what do I want to carry forward with me into my next chapter?
2. CALL OUT THE FEAR
Fear is natural – it comes from proximity to danger. Leaving a world of ‘knowns’ and entering into a whole lot of ‘unknowns’ is dangerous and unpredictable, but it is possible to survive and even thrive in this uncertainty.
For years, we as athletes had security and stability with our professions, identity, and daily routines. How do you answer questions like -- how do you spend your time? And how do you actually define yourself outside of your profession?
During my transition, those questions tumbled around in my mind like socks in a dryer for months and filled me with tons of FEAR and uncertainty. It was that feeling in the pit of my stomach or my chest that I couldn’t describe or name. The problem wasn’t the feeling – it was that I didn’t know how to name it. This is fear.
What was I personally afraid of? Fear of not finding “success” again, my potential inability to redefine myself, whether or not I would ever have relevancy within a group. How do you combat something that can’t be seen? You name it. You bring it to light and normalize it, because fear of the unknown is one of the most basic human emotions.
When I think about leaving athletics, what emotions do I experience?
Why do I feel this way?
Who else do I know who has experienced a similar transition? Can I reach out to them and ask about their experience?
3. DEFINE YOUR CHARACTER
This transition time is an opportunity to reflect on your core values, priorities, and strengths outside of sport. Have any areas of your life been neglected because of your commitments to sport? This is a chance to identify those areas and define them. The answers to these questions will help inform your priorities and direction moving forward.
When separating from active duty, working with my transition coach helped bring clarity to who I was and what I wanted outside of the military. While I love so many things about the military culture, I discovered I wanted to pursue a life and career with greater flexibility for exploration and curiosity, that also enabled me to prioritize my family and relational commitments.
What, if any, areas of your life been neglected because of your commitment to sports?
What are your core values? Take this free values assessment here.
What are your priorities for your next chapter?
4. ESTABLISH CLARITY OF PURPOSE
Being a company commander in the military is similar to being the team captain. Your mission and purpose are clear – charge the enemy, defeat your competitor, win the game; all the while, ensuring the well-being of your company or teammates. You are provided with a clearly defined mission and purpose. When you take off the uniform or jersey, it’s not as cut and dry.
As you learn about yourself in the transition process, you can refine your purpose moving forward. It doesn’t have to be “perfect” or “right.” Start big, and then iterate. Try new things and think of this as your next chapter, not ‘the rest of your life.’ You won’t discover until you try.
If money were not a factor, what would you do with your time? What do you like about those activities? Are there consistent themes?
Who do you think has an interesting job? What is interesting to you about it?
5. COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE!
Many military veterans get tripped up on their experiences and how it does, or does not, relate to the civilian sector. Let’s face it, not many employers are looking for how quickly a Marine can assemble and disassemble a M240B machine gun. Many athletes might have similar thoughts – not many employers are looking at how quickly you can complete a box drill.
The truth is – employers are not seeking the hard skills that athletes and military veterans possess, but the soft skills we bring to the table. Throughout our military and athletic careers, we have exhibited discipline, team-work, initiative, and effective communication and action under stress. Our ability to define, own, and effectively communicate our soft skills through story is critical to making connections and building our networks.
What are some positive character traits I have developed because of my commitment to sport?
How can I communicate my athletic experiences to showcase my positive traits as value-added to a potential employer?
6. FIND YOUR NEW TRIBE
It is common in the military to say, “You are issued your friends, and sometimes your spouse too.” When you transition from a culture that dominates so many facets of your life, it often bleeds into your social life as well. The bond in high-performing cultures is deeper than most realize and nearly irreplaceable. It is natural to grow in different directions when you stop having the same shared experiences.
As you transition, you are taking on new challenges and new opportunities that may seem extremely unrelatable to your old tribe. It will be hard to find a new community to share that deep connection, but that does not mean opportunities don’t exist. It can be intimidating to try to find a new tribe in a new location – but you’ve done it before, and your network is probably bigger than you realize.
Who do you know who is going through the same transition experience?
What activities do you like to do outside of your profession?
Are there any clubs or intramural teams in your area you could join?
Kellie Mix separated from active duty military in January 2020. She is pursuing an executive coaching certification through George Mason University and has a passion for helping and serving others in their own transitions.