Sara Lilly, Synchronized Swimming

Sara grew up in Texas before relocating to San Francisco at 15 years old to pursue her athletic career as a synchronized swimming. She won a Bronze Medal at the 2004 Olympics. She attended Stanford University and competed collegiately for 4 years before becoming the assistant coach and eventually the head coach of Stanford synchro team. She earnt an MBA from St Mary’s College and coached various Synchronized Swimming National Teams. She recently got married, relocated to Dallas and retired from coaching to start her own business.

Could you introduce yourself, tell us where you and your family are from?
My mother is from Ohio and my father is from Michigan. My parents met at University in Michigan. My mother did synchronized swimming in high school and college and my father was skier. After college, my parents moved to Indiana and then to Dallas, Texas to follow my aunt. I have a younger brother. My brother and I were both born in Texas. My family was very close to my maternal grandparents. I saw my grandmother almost every week.

How did get into synchronized swimming?
My grandmother started teaching me some synchronized swimming moves for fun when I was young. I then started officially at a summer camp before signing up for the whole year. Since we lived far from the pool, my mom would stay and coach. Before doing synchro, I did gymnastics for four years. But I was not good at it and eventually stopped. I was not a strong swimmer either but I loved to swim. I transferred some skills from gymnastics to synchro.

Did you already know you wanted to compete at the highest level?
From the time I was little, I wanted to go to the Olympics and I was quite obsessed about it. I learned everything I could about the synchro Olympians and the 1996 Gold Medal Team!

How did you get to the Olympics?
My mother received job offers from multiple places around the country. My family was going to relocate and I thought I had to stop swimming. My mum travelled to Stanford for her job interview and called me from there to ask if I wanted to swim for the Santa Clara Aquamaids. Two weeks later, we moved to the Bay Area. My father and brother followed a year after. I joined the club and swam with them for two years. I was selected to the Junior and Senior National Teams. I competed in the 2002 Junior Worlds in Montreal, Canada and in the 2002 World Cup in Zurich, Switzerland. I was then selected for the Olympic Team and went to the 2004 Olympic Games where I won a bronze medal.

How about school?
After high school, I did not want to attend college straight away. I wanted to focus on preparing for the Olympics. I had several disagreements with my parents about this timeline. They wanted me to apply for college immediately following high school. I pushed back but my grandmother called me to let me know this was not an option. And there was no arguing with my grandma… So I applied to three schools: Santa Clara University; Stanford and the University of the Pacific.

Where did you get accepted?
I received the news of my acceptance to Stanford in April 2002 at the end of my senior year of high school and two years before the Olympics. I did not tell my Olympic Team coaches I was considering collegiate synchro. Once I got accepted, I deferred my studies for a year so I could train full time with the National Team. A year later, I got selected for the 2004 Olympic Team and I deferred for another year.

Did you continue swimming after the Olympics?
I came back from the Athens Olympics and started school three weeks later. The coach who recruited me had retired and another coach took over. Full of excitement from the Olympics, I had new motivation to continue my career and I was committed to train towards the 2008 Olympics. I also wanted to be successful in the collegiate program and prove to people I could remain competitive in collegiate synchro.

How was your training regimen at Stanford?
At that point, Stanford synchro was training 8 hours per week. It was nothing in comparison with the National Team. I had trained over 10 hours per day six days per week to prepare for the 2004 Olympics! This was a difficult transition for me. After a couple of weeks, we agreed to increase to 20 hours per week. This was still less than before the Olympics.

How was the National Team after the Olympics?
The National Team was not the same as what I had experienced from 2002 to 2004. Some athletes were in full time training and others in college. I travelled back and forth between my duet partner’s club and the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. We had two new coaches and a number of consultants, so the training and expectations were a bit inconsistent. My duet partner and I were also the only two returning Olympians on the team. We got paid to come back so there was some resentment about this preferential treatment. The team dynamics were difficult.

How was your competitive season that year?
I got injured before the start of the international competitive season in 2005. I went through the summer and competed in the 2005 World Championships. However, I returned to Stanford and was told by the medical staff I would not be able to compete at the same level again. They also told me I would have to undergo shoulder surgery.

That must have been hard to hear.
I knew at that point I was done competing internationally regardless of my injury. My body could not take it anymore and the team dynamics were not enticing. The injury confirmed what I already knew.

Did you continue to swim for Stanford?
I went on to swim in college for another three years. I was semi-retired from the sport, swimming at a lower and less intense level which was necessary with my on-going injury. I was the team captain but I often had to sit out because of my injury. I started running to stay in shape because I could not swim as much. I fell in love with running.

Did you know what you wanted to do professionally after Stanford?
Before college, I thought I was going to be an architect or work in design.

How were your academics at Stanford?
I was always a good student before college and thought I would breeze through Stanford. Due to my two-year gap between high school and college, I had decided to enroll in a lower-level math class. I dropped that course following the first class. This really impacted my confidence. I decided to expand my classes to subjects outside of architecture and design to fulfill my general requirements and explore other options.

Did school eventually become easier?
School became much easier and I found classes I enjoyed in psychology and communication (this was my major). During my sophomore year, I got a job as a purchase card auditor and developed a good rhythm. My closest friends were my teammates. My teammate from Canada decided not to compete for her country any longer at this point as I did. We were going through the same transition, which made it much easier for me.

Did you have other interests outside of synchro and school?
I got into running, hiking and cooking. I lived in a dorm with a kitchen and I started organizing social “foodie” events, cooking for athletes every Thursday night. My roommates and I had organized themed study parties, trying to be as sophisticated as one can be in college.

Did you know what you wanted to do after College?
During my senior year, I was anxious to find a job. Many of my friends secured jobs by the end of the fall quarter. I still was not sure what I wanted to do with my major. I started a fellowship at Stanford within the athletic department. This allowed me to work in three areas of the athletic department: compliance, development, and media and marketing. I started that program the first week after the end of school.

How did you go from this fellowship to becoming a coach?
While I was finishing the fellowship, the Stanford Synchro head coach went on maternity leave. The assistant coach replaced her and I joined the staff as a volunteer replacement coach. The head coach returned the following season and the assistant coach left. I applied for the assistant coach position and was named. I had also been offered an accounting job in the Stanford Athletic Department. However, when the coaching position became available, I realized I preferred to work with the athletes and that the position was a natural fit for me.  

You became the head coach. How was that experience compared to being an athlete?
I really enjoyed my time as the head coach of Stanford Synchro. However, I did face some challenges when I transitioned from assistant coach to head coach. A number of my athletes were coming back to Stanford after having taken time off to compete with the national team. Some of these athletes were burned out. I was also finishing my term as an Athlete Representative on the USA Synchro Board of Directors and USOC Athlete Advisory Council. I often had to make decisions regarding national team issues and athletes in these roles. Although I recused myself from many discussions and tried to remain objective, I could not completely remove myself from making difficult decisions. I gained perspective and understanding of situations as a coach that I did not always understand as an athlete.

A lot of athletes go through an identity crisis when they retire, did you experience that?
I did not go through an identity crisis when I went from national team to Stanford to coaching. I still identified very much with athletics. When I became a coach, it was still part of my life and my identity. I still introduced myself to people in the same way. As a coach, I was a role model and I wanted to be fit and represent the athletic side of my job. So I continued to exercise pretty heavily. I wanted to be in a good shape also because I cared about people’s perception at competitions. Now, I am working to redefine my identity since I have left Stanford and coaching. Many aspects I identified with are no longer significant in my new life. I knew this would come; however, I do not think it made the transition any easier. I am facing physical and psychological changes. Discovering and understanding what what I feel is a good beginning.

Who is supporting you through this transition?
I talk to my husband Matt and my parents often about my transition. I also talk to one of my closest friends. We worked together for six years so she is pretty aware if something is a little off with me. I used to see a therapist in previous years to help me through some situations. I feel I have the tools and experience to make sense of things and understand my reactions and feelings.

What is the most unsettling feeling for you as you transition into your new life?
Many things in my life are different now. I got married, moved to another state, and am starting my own business. I am working from home, which means I set my own schedule. This is difficult especially since I do not have a set consistent schedule yet. I am learning to be okay working through the changes and I remind myself to be patient. I do look forward to having a routine and working with clients. I am also not exercising as much as I did in previous years. I have learn to be okay if I do not have time for a run. I have to force myself to accept that!

How do you introduce yourself to people now?
I have never introduced myself as an Olympic athlete. I did not want to only be defined as an athlete. I felt in doing that, I limited the conversations I could have with people. I used to introduce myself as a Stanford coach, which opened the doors to many conversations. I now introduce myself as Sara Lilly (new married name) and I explain that I am new to the area and starting my own business. It sparks a lot of interests and questions.

Please give us examples of skills you have transferred to your new life?
I learned many skills from sport that have helped me in life.  Time management is definitely one. I know how to be efficient and complete tasks. I also have strong skills in managing a budget and being creative with it. I have good people skills. I know how to read people and how to adapt my style to different audiences. I used this skill often in dealing with athletes, parents, and donors. I am mentally very strong. My teammates and I were often pushed physically further than we thought we could. This required immense mental toughness and resilience. I call on this skill this at times in work and life. It is a great skill; however, I have to remind myself that not everybody is this way.  Sometimes, I have to be more patient with others who do not feel the same level of urgency or commitment.I have also learned that, even if I am nervous, I will be okay. I am comfortable with discomfort as I know it will pass. Some people are afraid of this feeling as the unknown and uncertainty can be unsettling. As an athlete, I had to perform even when I was scared or unsure. Going into the business world, I am nervous, but I know if I just walk out there and use the skills I developed as an athlete, I will be okay.

What are you going to miss the most?
I am going to miss the culture at Stanford and the interaction with the student-athletes. I always felt so lucky to be constantly challenged. I will miss the conversations and interactions with the other coaches, the collaboration, the team work, curiosity and open-mind that you find on campus. Coaches and staff were always trading information, learning, and trying to get better. I always felt challenged.  

Do you feel that you have reached your goals in sport?
I feel I have achieved my goals. I made my family proud which was always important to me. I also feel I helped moved collegiate synchro forward and prove it is possible to compete at a high level in collegiate sport. As a coach, I felt successful in a number of ways. Final results were always important but they were not everything. I gained a great understanding of recruiting. Almost all of the recruits we put forward for early acceptance got accepted. I found great satisfaction in that. Graduating athletes with a positive experience of their sport was another achievement. A number of athletes came into Stanford burned out and with low motivation. My coaching staff allowed them to enjoy their sport again.

What are your plans for the future?
I want to start a family in the next few months. I would like to have a successful business. I do not feel the need to prove anything at this point but I would like to be accomplished and respected. I also want to be able to provide for my family and future kids and give them the experiences they want.

Did you experience any financial hardships after you retired?
No, I didn’t as I had a lot of support from my family. I received a little bit of money from the Olympics but not enough to go off path.

What could you have done differently during your career or your transition?
I do not think I would change much. I could have been more open with my parents during my career. I did not share a lot of what was going on at practice. I share more with my parents now and I think it is hard for them to hear at times as they feel that they could have done more to support me.

What other things have you been doing since you retired?
My husband and I enjoy trying new restaurants in Dallas and having new experiences. I also would like to learn a language. I was nearly fluent in Spanish and would like to develop that skill again. I am getting back into reading for my personal growth and enjoyment. I also want to get back into knitting and sewing as I used to do as a kid with my grandma. I am also contemplating getting into a Master swimming team.